Jan 30, 2015

Parenting IS hard work.

To parent or not to parent?

 Friends of mine did not have children
because of their inability due to infertility.
They did not have a choice to make.

Friends of mine chose not to have children.
Their decision was based on personal choices.
I had initially viewed their decision as a rather selfish one.

However, after some discussion with them and hearing them say
that they wished people would think about having children
as long and as hard as they had about their decision not to have children.
I felt a little differently.

It suddenly didn't seem selfish not to indulge in the duties of parenthood.
In fact, their obvious lack of desire to have children
coupled with the expressed lack of time for self and each another, already in their busy lives,
choosing not to parent didn't feel as selfish as it did wise.

Giving rise to Parenting

A parent may give birth to a child
but child alone does not give rise
 to the birth of parenting.

Parenting is a learned thing, years in the works.

A King is born
I was 30 when I had my first Son. I was all in.
I had finished my 16 year working/career two days before giving birth.
Lillian the Domestic Engineer

I bumbled, I fumbled, I bawled.
I leaked, I laughed, I cried.

I fell in love.

 I have to say that it was not love at first sight.
The first sight of my son frankly had startled me. 
He was dented and colored shades of red and blue 
as a result of my having attempted to have a bowel movement
instead of heading off to Hospital to have a baby that morning.

My Dr. had informed me that it was common
 to have a bowel movement during delivering 
so I had decided that I was going to spare myself the embarrassment 
and the Dr. the grief of it all by relieving myself at home.

However, instead of having my morning b.m. before my departure 
I had instead squeezed the crap out of my Sons head!
He had been pushed down into the birth canal 
where he then waited for me to move, as it were that morning..

My Son resumed both normal coloring and a normal head shape
not long after birth. 

The infant(s) who had grown in me, would grow on me.
I had four children in five years.
I was not without baby on board either sucking from or eliminating upon my body,
from at least one orifice of their warm, little bodies, for at least 6 years running.
(I can assure you that it was no slow waltz)

It does takes two to tango but it only requires one mis-step to tangle.
Children teach you that plans are made to be changed and that steps need be taken.


The dance between a parent and a child 
is not mastered on the dance floor.

Rather it is first learned in the nursery
 and then practiced on a sticky, kitchen floor.

Parenting requires a stick to it ness
that is stronger than what is stuck to you!

Not all dances are graceful and lovely to see.
Parenting is the get down, get dirty dance
that drives you to keep everyone clean. 
Parenting is not romantic.

Parenting requires putting one foot in front of the other
no matter the music, the whine or the weather.
We may be right but we may be wrong, that's the challenge of discovery.
Parenting will most certainly age you.

Parenting requires that one learn to rock and to roll with the punches.
There are no time clocks to punch but no pay to collect. Time simply ticks away.
I am reminded when I listen to my elderly clients speak of their own children.
They are always quick to remind me that their Son or daughter are now in their 70's!
Parenting is forever.

The Dr. who would help deliver my second son showed up wearing a head piece 
with a full face shield and a pair of rubber boots.
 She knew the mess I was getting myself into!


Parents are required to answer the little "whys" a thousand times
with the love and conviction that is necessary in growing great minds.
Parenting will challenge you and all you thought you knew.
Parenting requires patience.

Kids can say the darnedest things
but a parent can and will say stranger things.
Laughing at yourself is vital to survival.
Parenting requires a sense of humor.
Parenting requires great discipline

Cute babies of every species do grow up.
Outgrown outfits are replaced 
by peer pressurized stuff.
The duty to parent must come before
 the desire to befriend.
No if's ands, buts or whys about it.
Parenting requires great discipline

My second Son was born 22 months after my first Son.
My third Son was born 361 days after my second Son,
My fourth Son was born 15 months after my third Son.
The birth of a parent demands the skills of a Domestic Engineer.
Parenting is not easy.

Parenting requires the ability to realize and the courage to admit to being wrong.
To err is human. 

Beauty sleep be damned, Parenting will keep you up at night.


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1 comment:

  1. I am not a perfect parent and parenting is one of the hardest task that I am doing.