Showing posts with label Reflections. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reflections. Show all posts

Jan 14, 2015

Reflections of a Christmas past


May the reflection
 of your yesterdays
serve as a platform
for 
reaching the potential
of your every tomorrow.








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 Reflection  1. A thought occurring in consideration or meditation.
                   2. A fixing of the thoughts on something; careful consideration.
 is finding your

 Potential    1. possible, as opposed to actual:
                            2. capable of being or becoming:
                             3. A latent excellence or ability that may or may not be developed.
         
in the absence of

   Din            1. A loud, confused noise; a continued loud or tumultuous sound; noisy clamor.
 
 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 On the cusp of a  new year, every year I attempt to stop my world wheel and get off for a little while.
 I like to tone it down and tune it out if you will. 
I need to Re group, Rethink, Rehash, Re-assess and reconsider.

Although I can't afford to physically get away from it all,  I know that I cannot afford either,
not to get away from it all.
Lillian the Domestic Engineer.Blogspot.ca

 I manage to unplug the world
  by plugging into my tub!
 

It is largely
 through reflection
that I come to see 
how time invested in self
provides clarity.










My Sons traveled with their Dad  to visit Nanny and Poppy for Christmas this year.
It was a return trip home that was 14 years in the making.
The last time the trip was made, we drove across the country. 
The boys were  9, 7, 6 and 5. 
It seems as though it were only yesterday. 

They were all gone over Christmas and New Years for a stretch of ten days.

I spent Christmas day with my Mom, my siblings and their families.
The absence of my Dad who passed this last October gave rise to a nostalgia that continues to engulf and enlighten me into the ways of reality. 
Life really is short. 

My Dad had only just arrived at his 80th Birthday.

Domestic Engineer

 I spent the remaining holiday enjoying the company of self.
Contrary to the conviction of many who believed
 I must surely be sad to be at home alone over the holidays,
 I relished the opportunity.



I like to think I spend my time wisely.
There is so little of it.

Between commitments and obligations,
duties and celebrations
 rules and regulations
awaits the time for pondering and self preservation.
This time must be found, managed and enjoyed guilt free.

 
Domestic Engineer  - What matters?











Every movement of moment matters.

Every word of conversation counts.
Invest wisely in yourself.
Have a Happy, Healthy New Year

Lillian ponders on HERE

May 21, 2013

Happy Mother's Day

Reflections


The rising Sun appears on the horizon across the field from where I sit on my deck with my morning coffee.
  I revel in this morning me time.
  I smile out loud as I say to myself Happy Mothers Day.
  I watch as a flock of Canada Geese honk their way overhead and through the air space of the hawks that soar above the field, gliding and diving in search of their morning meal.
 I see a Crow fly through a flock of Swallows all shooting upward in the wind drafts and darting downward in daring dives.The Crow cawing loudly by, sounding as though his mouth is full of marbles.
 I don't hear the coyotes this morning that I heard last night. They're all  tucked in and sleeping tight. They run on teenage hours, I won't hear from them again until tonight.
 I hear the hum of the distant highway until the sound of an approaching train becomes the only thing I hear.
 The romantic sound of history reminds me of my past. My Mother's Father came from Yugoslavia around 1929 to work for CP Rail. He labored with pick in hand, moonshine in flask and hanky in pocket, along side the many other who devoted their lives to progression and to CP Rail.
 My Mother is the Daughter of a Man who lived on the land. 

 Home was a homemade sod roof shack in the hills of the Okanagan Valley where Cougars were the only visitor of the day. I'm told my Grandmother stood watch over the land where her children play, with Grandpas rifle and a killer aim. Not speaking English or reading the same she bravely trusted in self and had had faith in each day.
 Unable to contain my emotions I yell out HAPPY MOTHERS DAY.
 The cat jumped up out of my lap where he'd been quietly enjoying the comforts of me
 for the last half an hour. In his scramble to jump he used my thigh as a launching pad, leaving behind a spot of blood where his claw stuck in.. now an itching memory.
 As I wipe away the spot of blood and the tear on my cheek, I smile reminiscently
  I am grateful that my Mother is not far away. In fact I will talk to her later today when I tell
her I Love her and how grateful I am that she's the parent of the child I am. We will laugh and converse, listen and discover, as we search for ourselves in the midst of one another.

 "Happy Mothers Day, Mom. I love you" I heard my Son says as he approached and then hugged me before leaving for the day. I am grateful and happy to say that all my kids are

still great huggers by the way and lately it's occurred to me that the luckiest Mother of Mothers, has got to be me!
 Although not quite as sentimental as I tend to be the boys will often look "at it" just to amuse me.Today my Son's girlfriend wandered over to look when I told her I had glued the boys belly buttons into their baby books.
 "Ew, she announced, "That's kind of gross"
 I smiled lovingly and hugged her as I explained that there may even come a day when she'd be putting her own belly buttons away. Some time in the distance of course, far, far away!
She smiled back and wished me a Happy Mothers Day.
A second Son arose and arrived in the kitchen to say I love you Mom, Happy Mothers Day.
He passed me a card that he made himself. I kiss and thank him on the cheek, thankful to be me.
 On the heels of his brother arose another with words of Love and affection for me. He too told me how much I mean and thanked me for all that I do. Flashing his great smile he hugged and wished me a Happy Mothers Day.

  Interrupted by the ringing of the phone,  I know it will be my oldest Son is calling to say
I love you Mom. Have a great Mothers Day. He lives in the city just far enough away that I only feed him now about every seven days!


  How could the day get any better today?... hey wait, hold on guys did you hear me say
there's a Mothers Day Bucket at K.F.C. today, just down the road from Extra Foods where they've got perennials on Sale there too.
 Hello? HEY? Anybody here?
  Ain't nobody home but my memories and they don't need to eat so I head back to the kitchen to get another coffee for me! I grab the Bon Bons that are kept nearby (not) and pick up the telephone on my way by.
  I smiled to myself as I opened the door and stepped out into the Sun. I know that I am
truly the lucky one. 21 years a Mother to my awesome Sons and 53 years a daughter to my wonderful Mom!
  "Is that you?" My Mom answers the phone, the way she always does.
 "That's me. Is that you?" I reply as I always do.
  And then I started to cry.
  "Hi Mom, Happy Mothers Day, I love you". I sobbed. "Thank You for being my Mom.
 You are a wonderful Woman and what a job you've done...
 If I do say so myself. I add humorously.
"Happy Mothers Honey" she said to me. "Do something nice for yourself.
Go plant your Garden and Decorate your Soul and to hell with everyone else. Let them bring supper home!"
  I hear her my Grand Ma speaking to me but know it's my Mom on the line with me..
 I am no longer 13 nor is my Grandmother 63. In fact she's already 20 years deceased.
  Tis indeed already 2013. My Mom is 78 this year and I'll be 53!
  We laugh and converse, listen and discover as we search for ourselves in the memory of each other.
 Happy Mothers Day!  Thank You ALL for bravely leading the way.
As my kitchen begins to fill at the end of the day one of the boys asks "Where's the K.F.C.?"
 "Right beside the Extra Foods where their Perennials are on sale, if my memory serves me."
I smile cheekily.
 "Oh yeah, Happy Mothers Day. We didn't hear what you said, earlier today."
  "Got Pogos here" I heard one of them say. "That's OK your not cooking today, Mom.
 I'll eat Pogos, Love you. Gotta run."
 Dad walked in the door at the end of another working day to say he didn't get my text for K.F.C. until he was only a half a mile away!.. Strangely I had sent it four hours earlier that day.
 "Oh yeah, Happy Mothers Day" he says." What's for supper today?"
 "K.D and Hot Dogs" I announced. "On the way"  I smiled as I walked away.
 Happy Mothers Day I say to myself as I head towards the kitchen. How lucky I am  to be their Mom I continue as I open the box of KD. 
  What will I ever do with myself when they all move away?
 I contemplated the complicated answer to that and smiled. I am a Happy Mother today be it KD or KFC! 
 



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